Emotional intelligence is the way that a person perceives, reasons, understands, and manages emotions. This type of intelligence is thought to be a key factor in a person’s ability to “build strong relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your goals” (Segal & Smith, 2010) . Our emotional intelligence development process continues throughout our entire lives. Someone who exhibits emotional intelligence can reduce their stress level rapidly, is connected with their emotions, communicates nonverbally, can use humor to deal with challenges, and utilizes confidence and self-assurance with defusing conflict.
Emotional intelligence is important because it “is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them” (Bressert, 2007).Emotional intelligence is thought to be a better indicator of future performance in the workplace than intellectual intelligence. “A study of Harvard graduates in business, law, medicine and teaching showed a negative or zero correlation between an IQ indicator (entrance exam scores) and subsequent career success” (Bressert, 2007). The emotional intelligence quotient is becoming increasingly popular in candidate selection in the workplace because it is a better indicator of how competent people are.
The four core abilities of emotionally intelligent people are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. When someone has self-awareness, they are able to recognize the way they are feeling and know how those feelings affect thoughts and behavior. Self-awareness also demands the ability to know your strengths and weaknesses and have confidence in yourself. Self-management is having the ability to control impulsivity. Being socially aware means that you can access and understand how the people around you are feeling and are aware of their needs and concerns. Relationship management is how well you develop as well as maintain good relationships, clearly communicate your feelings, manage conflict, and work well in teams.
Becoming more emotionally literate is one way that a person can enhance their emotional intelligence. Instead of labeling people or situations, you should strive to label the way you feel about what is going on. It is also important to be able to distinguish the difference between your thoughts and your feelings. Phrases such as “I feel like...& I feel as if.... & I feel that” (Hein, 2012) are thoughts. A feeling begins simply with I feel… Analyzing your feeling and taking responsibility for them helps up to identify our emotional needs that are not being met. It is also important to validate the feelings of other and avoid people who invalidate you. Another way to enhance emotional intelligence is channeling anger into energy that you can put towards achieving a goal. Being empathetic towards others is one of the best ways to show your respect for them. Strive to listen to others and empathize with their feelings in place of advising, commanding, controlling, criticizing, judging or lecturing them.
When I took the self-administered EQ test on the Institute for Health and Human Potential website, I scored 54. Between 45-54 was described as having an emotional intelligence level that was very high. I felt that the test couldn’t be the greatest of indicators because the answers only ranged from strongly disagree to strongly agree. There also weren’t very many questions. It seemed very generic and I think a lot of people might see themselves as understanding or relaxed in high stress situations when they are not. I think that people’s perceptions of themselves would make them sound good if they took this test, even if they weren’t very emotionally intelligent. I think that an honest third party should be able to take the test about you and you would obtain a better reading of how emotionally intelligent someone is.
References
Bressert, S. (2007). Psych Central. Retrieved from What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/
Hein, S. (2012, January 5). EQI. Retrieved from Developing Your Emotional Intelligence: http://eqi.org/summary.htm
Segal, P. J., & Smith, M. ,. (2010, September). HelpGuide. Retrieved from Emotional Intelligence (EQ): http://helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm#authors
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